The story of my life,

in reverse

but maybe reversing itself too!

My long passed

and at long last 

and then finely messed,

and then tresses truced 

this golden warm 


and that once lessened courage

now so wondrous growing.

And knowing better

and no more bemoaning,

and learning to be sappy 

and savvy about


And so these 

are the numbers 

of my being

and striving,

and perhaps of its 

thriving too, and 

now perhaps

this is you after all!

And did you know this

all along –

and if as I say, 

why did you wrong me

by not letting on?

No matter:

I care very little to object 

any more.

Your intelligence –

grand sound –

and your beautiful mind

all the time remind me 

of your face

and voice choice and beautiful,

and the gentle hug you

first gave me that day,

and the ciggies you

smoked, initially 

that apologetically.

And I remember those moments 

we once went 

and spent together.

And it started way back 

at the crossroad of 25

when M was the hurt 

I broached

quite unknowingly, and perhaps 

quite unsurely too;

and then it was 

the glorious 42 of definite ill,

where K became the 

answer I’d soon enough 

have killed for, 

so blue and 

so her,

so goddamningly


and finally (or

maybe finally not!) 

to the wisdom and

sudden sexuality 

of 54’s unleashing freedoms, 


and imagined

in the clearest note of 

sharpest C.

And so tree was the 


and people you crossed;

those women never 

quite won over

and almost always entirely 


And so my numbers did come up,

and the supping of 

your love,

and the lusting of the abandon 

I felt for your person,

like broth of strong

concoction – and 

action and

reaction and 

resuming and

assuming …

… what a gorgeous meal

that was.

So listen up;

listen please;

listen wise;

listen long.

Do give me your word;

do say you love me strong –

that one final chance, dear


for this digital citizen

you see in strange light 

of stranger internal 

crunched workings-out,

and calculations,

recalculated: broad

and would as well;

this I now recognise 

as no longer unreal.

And so to this man I am 

of the 

nearest weirdest 

nature true;

a man who now will only 



able to love

the wondrous you!

2 thoughts on “[5{4](2}5)

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