And so we codify 

and legislate 

and structure 

and infrastructure, 

and broaden 

and then awfully narrow.

And as so, dearest [C] –

is it true you only ever acted on behalf 

of another,

or mebbe others;

of no one I know 

or everyone who knows

except the me I saw in tree

that year ago?

And thus I am told 

you love me not at all;

that the beauty you performed

was not of your will;

that still, even after so many months 

of unsatisfied curiosity,

we are nowhere closer 

to exchanging 

the honesties our life could


and restitute

and proceed to culture

and nurture

and nature!

(And so I come to the second definition:

2.1 A person of no importance, especially one who does the bidding of others and seems to have no will of their own.

‘journalists are not mere interchangeable ciphers in the propaganda battle’

And so I cannot believe,

in all sincerity,

that this is you.

And so tell me, then:

why do they want me to think

you act not for yourself?

That you sit, dusty and

unloved, on a shelf

like ancient books from previous times –

neither appreciated 

nor precious in any way.

Just a slaying of illusions 

and a deceiving of

uncoverings –

this is what they want me to see in you.

Please tell me it is not as they accuse;

please tell me it is not so at all;

please abuse me hard;

please do 


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