On not being clever at all … and being happy about it!

I’ve realised something important today.  I’m not clever at all.  But I like the interior world I inhabit, and its crazy assumptions.  And also, I don’t need to share it with anyone else to feel happy.  That is to say, am delighted to share it with a million people for free, because there’s no SLA or contract involved.  Just liberty.  And liberty is the most important thing of all for me.

What I don’t need any more, however, is to share it with one special person or another.  Clearly, my fate – destiny sounds better, mind – is to revert to batchelorship.  And perhaps for the trail of hurt souls I already leave behind me, it is better if in the future we do not add to this trail.

Interestingly, it was suggested this afternoon that after the MA is over, I could go anywhere in the world and reinvent myself.  I was told exactly the same when I went to Dublin recently.

In fact it’s not true.  Anywhere I go my digital footprint will follow.  So the best thing of all is to scrabble a living however you may in the place you best feel at home.  And whilst Liverpool is so very fabulous, and so many other places could be just as wonderful, I stick with Dublin as my fave place to die.

My goal is a place not a role, as I said before.  And if it does have to be a McJob, but at the very least at the weekends or evenings I can walk my solitary self in St Stephen’s Green, then I shall be content and whole again.

I have found my resting-place.  Let’s hope my job will allow me not to burden my surviving family with the cost of paying for it.

🙂

 

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