On Genius: “… the [found]ation {st}[one] …”

I now see with awful shining clarity

What has happened to me:

My strife has spent all these years

Denying my reality:

Denying [h]ours:

Time spent together in lies with

No ownership:

Out there and in me, and hurting

So hard.

And so I now see the truth.

It is not that 

I have got a particular sensibility;

That mebbe I am genius;

That mebbe I would always hurt.

Rather, it is quite that she’s been

Expert in her qualities:

The violence of denial,

Perpetuated over decades,

Where the foundation stone

Of one and found

Was never to be shared.

And saint I have been;

How saintly I became.

And so I see why – now quite how –

I true can eventually 

Be free:

The pursuit of liberty is worth

The trial.

For it is not that I am inevitably weak –

Nor ever unable to fight back

At this awful creature 

Of control.

It is simply that she has been 

This awful creature of control,

Made – I suspect – in the mould

Of prior family ties; 

The lies of rusty dependence, writ 

Ever so terrible large.

And so now I must brake

The consequence of bond:

Now I must become proud

Of resilience and

Resistance shown, 

And – hey! – 

clearly owned;

I do not, after all,

Have to be condemned 

To a life on this

Drug of terrible result.

I am victim for so long;

But not inevitably so.

As victim I now proclaim my rights:

To be bright 

And regaled with pleasures future;

To no longer be responsible 

For squaring further circle;

To only do good where a bad

This –

For me –

Is never;

Is not;

Is highly ungot.

The foundation stone:

One found:

One saint.

So now it is 

Time to stop and 

Clock this beautiful

Whirled – the colours and senses

Of wonderous tock!

Leave a reply:

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s