She accuses you finally
personality: and the lies and fear she propagates
are far too late in rhyme.
And once she’s seriously claimed you must be ill again,
you realise it is time
to do something serious, for clearly something serious she is
planning to do to you.
And so you begin to wonder if fourteen years ago
she maybe did something together with others –
or maybe just worked out the gameplan all sola;
and so when they accused you of a schizophrenia with
paranoid tendencies it was the kindness you’d expressed
throughout each and every
line of your life,
in the presence of that wife you’d always trusted.
And so when this evening she spilt the beans, and made it
clear her strategy was now to medicalise you again,
in order to keep you close to her being,
in order to keep you distant from them,
you suddenly understand the depth of her
no diamonds are these;
dirty lumps – p’raps – of a
causing coal, mebbe.
And clearly little can be done as all is done and said:
you’d truly believed all these years
in her real good.
But now this belief begins to fall into dust:
the rust of machinery,
grinding and worn.
And your heart is now torn;
and you soul is now
No woman left in your uni-
verse in your pen.
Goodbye, then, dear love:
it is time for
No sighs, then, dear love:
just the terrible cold
retracing those steps
towards crossroads of pain where only decisions
“On the other hand, people who bullies target tend to be sensitive people who are likely to attack themselves in response to shame. Self-blame can maintain a relationship with a bully, but it comes at the expense of keeping oneself a victim.”
I have been bullied, and I have hurt myself in response.
But with these insights to hand, I don’t think this will happen much longer.