Loose ends were my life for much
of my strife,
and then today something changed altogether.
And although I have known for
quite some time now
how rhymes only structure a pain or a pleasure,
there is something else to life
that is longer than
either: something far finer than this.
And although it would be highly
remiss of me to claim I have discovered
in small discovery I made just then with my second son
the truth of the matter is that
together we have solved what for us was a grand
mystery of serious significance.
For whilst we’d love, between the two of us,
to have lives of cut-
this evening we have realised
we can still have the limits to the awful natures
of those who do live around us, without
necessarily cutting off all relation or exchange
with these people who vex our souls, so poor.
And so I am decided that my marriage is
at an end: not because it has to be like this;
because the black and white alternati-
ves which stare me in the face
have clearly been imposed upon the one we used to be.
And culpability is not the word;
and guilt is not
a helpful concept.
In truth, and in most of what we saw together,
it was the both of us – son and father,
in crime! – who began to realise, perhaps so late,
in my case at grand
old 54, that a life made of loose ends is awful
frustrating; but a life of
loose beginnings is actually,
a) clearly on my existence’s horizon, stiff;
b) quite certainly technologically operable; and
c) just the grandest double I may goddamn next well take!
So don’t frustrate yourself again:
I am become quite resilient;
quite knowing of my ken – as if it then
was my time.
And whilst double-barrelling our shotguns to the
crosshairs of the future – if
such a weapon of hybrid concoction can ever properly
resist – might lead us to confuse with whom we need
to be and why,
at least by now, and after such wise evening,
we both do know this future is cool.
And so even in incomplete and difficult relationship,
relationship of all-time trying, human,
complexity – which
surely will never
perform exact as it may should – some good will ultimately
come of being together.
And where this togetherness eventually runs its
as in some cases we shall
tend to suffer and see, life carries on as it must
and can; as
the can that must be carried on
So listen to me two stanzas more,
if two stanzas more
stand: I’ve loved and lost so many years
to so many people
who could’ve lived in me,
that I realise now I cannot count them out
nor count them
And whilst my hand will continue to tremor
let me tell you this final wisdom:
let me inform you this final word.
Amongst the heard and lost
and bewildered, I will always love yous, however
I will love all the women who ever crossed my path
and whispered, even if only in passing:
“Together we might have been
“Together – who knows what the future
might yet hold?”