[a {lone]} a{r}(e) you

A lone r are you;

a lone r be me;

a lone r C much;

a lone r reADd such;

and the many, many rejections of damn utter [c]old,

fashioned of your

body {s}old –

how you claim

you forget;

how you reject

you beget;

and only now after most thirty years of

this do you reveal

the desperation

of your

self of lying soul (or p’raps, mebbe,

that’s wealth of lain down hole):

for I loved you so much, precisely because often,

so often, you refused to touch my

self and my tears and the tearing of my thought,

and then that – mind! – I bought out of a

fear which 

one day, my dear, I did – somehow – think I’d actually

assuage;

but now I can see

you played all along with

me: the song of that cruel south,

like poor man’s

gruel-

ling ting-

ling imagin(‘e-

ll)ing*s*.

And all this time when paranoid of yous,

in truth it was the denial of a reality

quite from within:

from ‘K’in near and far – that is true, for

sure it ‘T’was – but also from

one so close

to home that no moan

could hide the dis-

ability you weaved

so easy round my soul and my brain like ball of @#st#-

rings@,

as all my love

you left behind

that line I never crossed –

apart from one so sad time was that,

where rhyme

and place just’d likely as not coincide;

the line I will never cross again, for we are

that soon to be reuniting

this one time 

more in

unneeded, unsought but now

never-

the-

less,

ne’er-

t’

mo’e,

sepa*-

ration of inevitable, terrifying,

terrorising

pain …

* sepa – as in the Spanish phrase ¡Para que sepa …! – is similar to the English “In order that you may know …!” (… and so now you do).

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