It’s easy, yer know?

It’s easy when you’re used

and abused 

to the power of watching

which others exert over your being

and your seeing and your doing

and your hurt:

it’s easy to get used to the

practice and

praxis and dreadfully casual

axis of falsely distributed

Xs and Os and

whys unanswered all

ways you’d maybe think and

drink and

then sink like stoned

delinquent:

but then when you see that

gorgeous face

and the only race is your heart-

beatings and your

squirmed seatings,

and the desire to blink

in utter astonishment, and wink

out of absolute

desire, awakened from a

winter of sexually absent content:

so that’s when you want more

than ever to be held

and embraced and kissed

and stroked,

and taken and made and touched

in and amongst and between

the folds of skin that sensually

arise.

 

And it’s so easy to forget

what it was like

before you became so [un]ac-

customed to the direct currents

of electrical connection – the fiery

fearless love of

the women you’ve lived quite

unreciprocatedly all your life …

 

… those women you have begun,

of late,

to severely unlove

for

[t]ether.

 

And so this is my ch-

all-

eng-

e: ready yourselves now to

witness the display: I am fully remaking

myself as the man

who will never need love to return:

for in that knowledge,

quite fool,

that everything he does is being

watched and surveilled and trailed

and listed, both black- and

white-, both outside and in,

it’s clear, oh so clear,

he would now far

rather unjustly be inspected

for his porn

than ever for his …

 

… once so truly, magnificently

lovelorn.

 

img_5927-1

 

radley

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