Bought the soundtrack to “La La Land” this morning. CD and instant-ish MP3 download. Really good. Re-listening to now.
Meanwhile, did some poetry, and decided I can still write about love even when I am incapable of finding it. You can’t have everything, and tbh I prefer academia to an embrace which will one day always disappoint. And in any case, never in my life have I ever experienced an unconditional embrace. And that’s the truth. That really is so.
And even if the choices didn’t have to be excluding, I have tried to achieve something in love all my life and failed abysmally; meanwhile, in less than six months in uni I already feel I am reborn.
No woman, ever, has done that for me, though I wished it had been so. And at two times in my life, I think I even imagined it had happened. But it was my imagination, not a reality the two women in question actually shared.
And I thought they did.
And I was wrong. I was awfully wrong.
So here’s to uni and academia and the reading and the righting.
And, of course, to the writing too.
My last and final – now my only – love left.