I [l]earned that I am capable of extraordinary hate.
I [l]earned that I am driven by desires still latent
and quite unusually unbidden
from my soul.
I [l]earned that beauty occupies every moment of my
I [l]earned that beauty is a need I have: and even where
it does not exist, I fight and battle to bring it out.
I [l]earned I am neither good nor bad: just human.
I [l]earned what it was like to suffer immense rejection.
I [l]earned what it was like not to do the right things.
I finally [l]earned I am promiscuous in my needs.
I finally [l]earned it’s possible to undo a categorical assertion.
And now I know how much I hate my once favourite
cousin, my once favourite brother and my once
astonishingly beloved second cousin.
And whilst it ennobles me in no way, and it’s about as wrong
as I could act, that the fact of my hatred
is now so plain for all to see makes of me to myself a man
of awful imperfection: and in this, I cannot thank the