Little to re-port / Now I AM gone …

There are times and 

again and


and deigning 

and tainting with 

colours of death

and dyes and 

so … there’s no-

thing to re-

port in safety 

from squall.

I loved you once

so very


a muchness which

exceeded my 

max, and taxed

my ability to

live life


But when you 

said “no” to the

marriage in 

desperation I 

offered far too 


and in a way


doing so generated a

terrible hatred 

of me

in your

craw and in your

core and in the

sore bleeding open

wounds of


live(s), and 


like that,

and stoved-in 

caresses and embraces 

and hugs and

gentle strokes

which we as 

fairly ordinary 

folk did once freely

give each other,

and then not two

months ago,

when I recriminated

kind of 

your giving-up

kind of 

on the reality of your

life as once inter-

twined with the

wine of our attraction,

and the true

affection which

once infused 

in gloriously mulled 

ways the kindnesses 

we easily 

found and un-

covered so secretly 

and so proudly for

two and three and four

of each other, 

like such good stuff

under stones of

touch and tease,

and in such manner

and with such ease

you rejected outright 

my thesis of justice

and outright 

state lies, and 

preferred for a second 

time – in less than


time – to put me down 

and stamp my ingenuity 

and refuse my accuracy

and hurt my sensibility 

and anger my righteous

truths … 

… well … and such a 

deep well … and such a

dark well … and such a 

sad well … and the well

you now have of me

is that in accepting the

falsity of your

ridiculous bi-polarity, 

you have

broken entirely the

respect I once had

for the strength

of purpose and sincere

intelligence you

applied to everything

and all in our

ways, and be(s) and do(s)

and say(s) and


up and say(s) up,

and in this

loss I have been led to

so unerringly 

by your overwhelming 

rejecting me hugely and

massively, I never – and

will never –

darken your resignedly,

unwisedly, foolishly,

failingly, flailingly


doorstep again.

I lost you for thirteen 

years, my love:

and in that time you

said “no” to me twice: 

and three 

times on …

… I now am gone.

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