Had a pretty sad day today. When you got to let go of something which provides release and pleasure in order to join the real world, it hurts so very very much. Not to be able to write or take photos any more is painful, and saddening. I need time and mental space to be able to do both usefully, and I shall have neither. I have been tearful today because of this. You perhaps don’t understand, but even so it is as I describe.