I struggled to be loyal 

to your memory, dear

Karen: for whilst I sensed and


every minute as if just 

now, I know it is your

wish to look to that

future which 

contains only

memories from the

past: not a reach 

to a forwards made of 

continuum and

coming undone

together as one and two 

and many.

And I love you, dearest Karen,

as I have never 

loved before nor

since we

met and looked and glanced

our eyes across the 

lips and words that fed our

thoughts and lives and 

loves, and moved us 

to that

kiss and hug, and holding hard

and holding

on and keeping no hands 

barred again: and that is all I 

need to say: for me, today, tomorrow,

before, you never shall be

away from what I am and

what I recall 


what does make me fall and cry

and want to die 


second that

this now is hurting 




for every

second without you

now is secondhand for evermore.

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